Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
