wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
