guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
