her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
