bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
