Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
