nut hugger
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My penis needs a shock collar
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
