You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
