Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
