omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
