chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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