Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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