Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
