Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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