Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
