Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
