dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
