Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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