were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
