loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
