Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
