ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
