If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
