We're like a lot better than the average bears
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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