I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
