I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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