She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All the doctor said was why
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize