She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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