She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
