Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
