Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
