when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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