Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
