my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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