You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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