Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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