did you get engaged???
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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