So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
