***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
