Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
