But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
