I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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