weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
