Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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