im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
