I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
