I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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