So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
