Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
