god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
