i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
